You've watched the show, you may have saw the process play out for a family member or friend, and we've all witnessed the end result of the bride in the perfect dress for her (whether the rest of us agree or not). But how will it play out for you? Will you know right away when it's "the one"? Will the skies part and heavens align to symbolize that thee perfect dress has finally met its match in the form of your body? Will your mother and bridesmaids who so joyfully attended this momentous shopping trip be unable to control their tears? Will there be enough tissues? Should you bring extra? Will you feel totally confident in your decision to purchase the dress right then? Should you sleep on it? Should you try on more just to be sure? How many more? 50? 100?
OK, you see where I'm going with this. It may sound crazy, and to the rational, level-headed human being it is. But let's be honest, rationality and levelheadedness are not characteristics most brides pride themselves on-- especially when caught up in the moment of all things wedding. Don't get me wrong, some brides are not lying awake at night wondering if the built-in sash on their dress will ruin the entire theme of the wedding-- and hats veils off to those chippies. Unfortunately though I was/am one of those brides, and from several other brides I've talked to, these concerns and questions are all too normal (unless you betches were just trying to make me feel better, and if that's the case-- thank you, it worked, you successfully justified my craziness). Regardless, there is a reason why TV shows like 'Say Yes to the Dress' and more recently 'I Found the Gown' exist, and with much popularity I might add, and that reason being that this is our gown, our 'costume' per se, for the day that everyone will be looking at us, staring, adoring, judging-- choosing it will not be an easy task. Why do you think some women get one for the reception and one for the ceremony? Or why Mariah Carey renews her vows in a different Vera every frickin' year? Because considering our decision-making ability as women in general, choosing what dress to wear on the one day we are a princess in our real life fairy tale is most likely going to be drawn out and dramatic. It takes me a half hour to decide which laundry detergent to buy at the grocery store and you're expecting me to find the wedding dress of my dreams in a couple shopping trips? Give me a break.
So I bring to you my real girls "Do's and Dont's" of saying yes to the dress. Because to be honest, the TV shows are BS, [a majority] of your bridesmaids could probably care less, there's a strong possibility that no one will shed a tear, and regardless of which dress you choose the heavens proceed to exist unaligned. You do "just know" though-- as long as you listen to your instincts and knock out that crazy little devil bride on your shoulder (better known as bridezilla) telling you that one teeny, tiny little embellishment looks out of place and that you better keep looking.
When you schedule your first dress appointment, look up which designers they carry and check out the different dresses online before you head to the shop. If you're anything like me, chances are you'll be attracted to dresses from a few particular designers, as a majority of their dresses share a unique style. And sure enough, when it came to the end of my dress shopping experience my two favorites were by Maggie Sottero-- one of which I ultimately ended up buying. Check out BestBridalPrices.com to do your research-- that's how I found my dress and I literally walked into the last shop I went into, told them the name of the dress, they had it in stock and the rest is history. The website allows you to search by designer, style, price, and more. Then you can even call ahead to bridal shops that carry that designer and see if they have your favorite dresses in stock, or just head to the shops that carry your favorite designers-- you might just find something similar you like love even more. I wish I would've known to shop by designer from the beginning because I would've saved myself a lot of time... but that's why I'm sharing these tips with you. :)
Don't: Restrict yourself to limited styles
I originally wanted one type of gown-- and that's all I really tried on. I only looked for that style and it really limited my options. Another thing is that the first couple of shops I went into I refused to try on a certain style of dress because I "just knew" I wouldn't like it. Well, that's the style I ended up getting. Which leads me to my next point...
Do: Listen to the consultant
When I went to Vera Wang (yes, thee Vera Wang in Chicago), the consultant asked if she could put me in a gown that she "just knew" would look good on me. She said with my body type she just had to see me in it. The only problem is that it was the style I did not want, but I accepted, because let's be real, I was in Vera Wang and how am I not going to try on any Vera dress-- regardless of what it looked like. Well I fell in love, and I probably would've walked right out the door with it if I had the $14K in my pocket. Unfortunately I didn't, but that dress opened my eyes to trying on more like it, which ultimately landed me my dream gown. Remember, these bridal consultants see these dresses on thousands of girls of all shapes and sizes, and they're able to see what looks good and what doesn't more than anyone else. Trust them.
Don't: Bring everyone and their mother
I see this on 'Say Yes to the Dress' all the time, these brides-to-be come in with a full-blown entourage and get irritated when everyone voices their different opinions. Well girlfriend, why would you invite 15 people in the first place? I mean seriously, what did you expect? I kept my entourage small and personal. My mom, sister, and bridesmaid, Emily, were my go-to shopping buddies and I wouldn't change a thing if I did it all over again. All three were patient and honest and I truly trusted and valued their opinions. But in the end it's all about what you want, feel comfortable in, and envision yourself wearing. So I say the smaller the posse, the better, that way there are fewer opinions flying around distracting you from your own.
Do: Enjoy the experience
Who knows how many dresses you'll try on before you find "the one". I mean it could be the first one you try on... or it could be the 1000th. Let's hope not, but either way, enjoy it! Don't get frustrated, or impatient, just revel in the fact that you get to wear one of these fabulous dresses on one of the greatest days of your life. One suggestion to really enhance your experience: go to Vera. It's at the top of my list as far as bridal experiences thus far and it will truly be hard to top. As someone with an overwhelming appreciation for all things wedding, just being in a room full of gorgeous gowns designed by the top designer in bridal fashion with the opportunity to actually try them on, was just exhilarating. Plus they serve you champagne and cupcakes-- does it get better than that? Just do it-- who cares if you can't afford a thread off the least expensive dress... it's fun to pretend. My budget was $20,000 in case you were wondering. ;)
Don't: Get lost in the experience
While the experience is fun and you might not want it to end, it has to. And your patient little posse is probably growing weary, so limit your shopping trips to around an hour. Several consultants told me stories about brides staying in their shops for hours, just hemming and hawing over a certain dress. The consultants were irritated, I can only imagine the brides guests were irritated-- so just cut it out. If you're not sure, take (or sneak) a picture and stare at it on your own time. If you're debating for that long, chances are that it's not the one. Move on.
I started feeling like I'd never be completely satisfied with one dress (as did my sister, I'm sure, as she patiently attended just about every shopping trip with me). There was always something about each dress I loved that made it imperfect. Then I started questioning whether I'd get that feeling or "just know". Maybe I had found it but I was just being too critical (me? Noooo). But then I tried it on, the one, and I did just know. It was out of my budget but I didn't care-- that's how much I loved it. I had to have it. My gut kept reassuring me that it was the dress and I trusted it. I don't have any doubts and I'll be able to tell you in eight months whether it was the right choice when Eric lays eyes on it for the first time. I'm sure I won't have any regrets. :)
Stop driving yourself crazy, girl. If you have to have the dress, if you can't stop envisioning yourself walking down the aisle in it-- get it. If you got it and you're doubting whether you made the right decision-- stop. Be confident in your choice, you fell in love with it for a reason, and you're going to look gorg in it. Yes, it's a big decision, but don't make it bigger than you. Just follow your heart and your gut and it will all work out perfectly-- I promise.
Do: Find out initiatives for buying during your first visit
Many shops offer initiatives to get brides to buy at their shop, particularly during their first visit. My shop offered to pay the sales tax (which was over $200) if I purchased during the first visit. SOLD. So ask those questions to make sure you don't miss out on any deals of that sort.
Maybe: Try on outside of your price range
So my dress was a little out of my ideal budget. But I knew I could afford it if I really, really loved it. And I did, so I made it work. My problem was that I was drawn to all the more expensive gowns, so I knew I'd probably have to break my budget if I wanted to be completely satisfied with my choice. Another option I was considering was getting my dress made-- a surprisingly cheap alternative to ordering your dress. Remember that Vera I talked about earlier in this post? Well I brought a photo of it to a local seamstress, along with a couple other wedding dress photos, explained my vision to her, and she quoted me an extremely reasonable price. Many brides don't know this is an affordable option, so that's why I do recommend trying on outside of your price range-- IF, and only if, you are willing to take the risk of not being able to try on your dress before you commit to it. If you find an excellent seamstress though and you're able to look at her portfolio and some fabric swatches, why not? You could get a replica couture gown for a fraction of the cost... just weigh your options and once again, follow your gut.
I hope these Do's and Dont's help you in your own search for your dream wedding gown and ultimately lead to you saying YES to the dress in complete confidence. Thank you so much for reading and happy dress hunting! :)
xoxox Danielle
