My Grandpa Kidder was the greatest. Period. He was not my Grandpa by blood, but I didn't know that until I was older, as he's been in my life since the day I was born. My Dad's father and my blood "Grandpa" was never present in my life, but I never really noticed nor cared; my Grandpa Kidder filled any void that needed filling in that department. He was the sweetest, silliest, and most caring man I've ever known. You know how there's those rare people nobody can really say a bad thing about? Who has never given anyone a reason to dislike them? Who just has such an overwhelming positive energy and kind spirit that others gravitate toward them? That was him. You honestly couldn't say a bad thing about him. Nobody could. And that was evident in the turnout of his funeral. He touched so many lives and had such a positive effect on so many people it was incredible. And such an honor for me to be able to call him Grandpa.
Saying 'Goodbye' to him is the hardest thing I've had to do to date. I put off looking at him in that casket as long as I could, because I was so scared to see a man so full of life lying there looking just the opposite; lifeless. When I finally gathered up the courage to walk up there, I was surprised by how at peace he looked. He didn't look sad or scared or even lifeless; he looked peaceful. And that has helped me in my own journey of finding peace with his passing.
In the wake of his death I have been dealing with an outpouring of so many emotions it's hard to keep them straight. His death has made me look within and question my own life thus far. Am I one of those rare people that no one can say a bad thing about? Do I give people reasons to dislike me? Do I have that same positive energy and kind spirit? No, probably, and it's doubtful. So that's it? I'm stuck being less of a person because I don't possess those qualities at the age of 25? Not at all; but I may not have 52 more years to perfect myself like my Grandpa did. Life is so short. I learned that last year when my Fiance's mom unexpectedly died at just 47 years old, and I'm learning that again with my Grandpa unexpectedly passing at 77 years old.
My Grandpa looked at peace. He looked at peace because he was at peace. He is at peace. He lived 77 years. He found his soulmate in my Grandma, and god, did he know that. He loved that woman more than anything in this world and he let it be known. He did anything and everything for her. He was the definition of a perfect husband. He took her entire family under his wing as if they were his own. He had an allergy to dogs but always reassured me I was welcome to bring mine up to their house to stay for the weekend. He would give his shirt off his back to anyone. He could make you laugh without putting forth any effort. I had the privilege of putting the photos together for the collages to be displayed at the funeral, and the way I speak of him was reinstated tenfold by the proof of the old photos I rummaged through. A majority of all the photos he was in consisted of him either dancing, laughing, making someone else laugh, making a goofy face, or doting over my grandma; and sometimes all of the above.
I am going to miss my Grandpa so unbelievably much, but I am so thankful he was a part of my life as long as he was. He taught me so many lessons in life, and now in death, that I will carry with me forever. As much as I hate to think about dying, these situations kind of force you to. And I know when I go, I want to lie there in peace, too. I don't want to be holding a grudge, worrying, feeling insecure, doubting, or participating in any negative thought process. I want to be content and happy with my life at every moment and truly enjoy it, just the way my Grandpa did.
Although this is a different type of "Motivational Monday" post in that it isn't lighthearted and fun; it should motivate you in the largest way possible. It should make you want to leave behind the type of legacy my grandfather did. It should make you look within and question the way you're living your own life and change the things you don't like now, because who knows how long you have to make it better. Laugh, smile, be silly and selfless, truly enjoy each moment for what it's worth, appreciate your family and friends, and cherish your soulmate. Those are the lessons I learned from my Grandpa Kidder and I am going to practice those lessons until I truly perfect them like he did. I want to make him proud by following in his footsteps and I want to be at peace, knowing I lived my life to the absolute fullest, just like he did.
In loving memory; Donald L. Kidder
October 10, 1935 - August 16, 2013
That was beautiful Danielle, great blog post. Your grandpa would be very proud.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Ronit. I appreciate it and I hope so. :)
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